Adam and I have been waiting on an answer from God now for years. The question for God, summed up in a few words, has been, "Okay. Should we stay where we are, or move?" We've had an unsettled feeling for 6 years now. An itch to go somewhere else, to buy a house, to feel settled. But I believe that through our unsettling and in the wait, we have found a lot of answers - maybe not the exact answer we are seeking and hoping for, but answers around other things. Which, I believe gives us our answer: We are to stay until He moves us.
Ugh.
If you've been there, you get it. Your heart desires one thing, but God says "no".
My next question for God then has been, "Why? Why do I feel this way? Have this strong urge to hop in a travel trailer and get the heck out of this town? Why are you making me stay? Why are we not able to buy a house right now? Why can't I have my own space? Why why why?"
I battle with that. I go between the questions above, and then I remember this passage from the Bible:
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." ~ Psalm 32:8 (NIV)
And then I have my toddler size tantrum, arguing with God, because I know what He is saying to me. "Mara, I am in charge. You aren't."
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!
And then I take a deep breath and begin to meditate on the passage. There's a lot there. When I read Psalm 32:8, I think back to Kindergarten. My teacher, Mrs. Holcombe was my favorite teacher, ever. She loved every child, she poured into each and every one of us, and she gave us an education that was instructed and taught in love. She kept a close eye on each of us, making sure each of her students received an education that he or she deserved. She made such an impression on me, and has been embedded in my heart for forever.
I like to think of God in that way. A loving instructor guiding me and teaching me with a gentle hand. The answer He has been giving us to our big question isn't because He doesn't love us, or He doesn't want us to have that. I believe the answer for now is, "You know what, this is a time when you need to focus on me. I have placed you where you are for a reason. To bless you. To bless others. Love, God."
As I wrote that phrase, I felt a tug at my own heart, a gentle reply to God, "Okay, God. Okay."
Then I land on the world-renowned Bible verse, Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV):
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Trust. Put your trust in Him, give Him your desires and dreams, and He will guide you with a loving eye. He will make sure that the way you go will be directed and everything will fall into place. But only if you trust.
Whew! That's big! A big reminder, for sure!
Now for this week's yoga journaling prompt:
The desire of my heart is _____________________________________. I plan to give God _________________________________.
What is the desire of your heart? And how do you plan to give it to God? Spend some time digging deep. What are your dreams? What is that urge you have, but you can't seem to figure out how to make it happen? Maybe God is asking you to stay. Maybe He has a bigger plan for you. Take some time writing about this topic in your journal.
Some ideas to help you as you work through this week's journal prompt:
1. Make a dream board. These are so much fun, and I'm sure you've done this before! Cut pictures out of magazines, print pictures from your computer, print pictures from your phone, etc. And glue them to a sheet of paper. Pin your dream board to the wall or in a place where you will see it regularly. Watch, as you pray and trust in God, how your dreams come true, or maybe they do not. Any time you notice a change in your dream board as it relates to God's plan, journal about it! Take note of how God is speaking into your desires regularly.
2. Share your desires with a close friend or family member, someone you trust. Ask for feedback. Ask how they see God moving in your life. Sometime, having an outside perspective helps us see our lives in a different light.
3. Journal about the little things. I'm sure you have a BIG dream that you want God to move in, but what about the little dreams? What about the continuing education course you've had your eye on, but money hasn't been available for? What about the pile of debt you've accumulated and desire to pay off...at some point? What about your dream of spending a week with a friend across the country? Spend some time thinking about the smaller dreams you have, write them down and bring them before God as well.
Let's get you moving:
As a yoga teacher, I find value in stretching and moving the body. It gets your body moving, increasing oxygen in the body, which increases blood flow, which is incredibly beneficial and healthy for your mind as well. And whenever I'm in a funk, or I'm feeling down about not receiving an answer from God, yet, moving my body helps move my thoughts a bit, putting me in a better mood.
So! Let's get you moving a bit! For this week, I challenge you to move through a full Sun Salutation at least once a day. Here is how you do that (plus you can head over to the Facebook Group for a full tutorial on it! Just click here.)
1. Begin in Mountain pose. Take a few deep breaths here.
2. Inhale to raise the arms, exhale to fold.
3. Inhale to lift half way up, exhale to fold.
4. Inhale to step one foot, then the other to the top of a push up.
5. Exhale to lower all the way down to your belly.
6. Inhale into Cobra pose, exhale to come back down to the mat.
7. Inhale to press back into Downward Dog. Take a few breaths here.
8. Inhale to step or hop to the front of your mat into a forward fold. Exhale to relax in the fold.
9. Inhale to lift half way up, exhale to fold.
10. Inhale to stand, arms lifted, exhale back into Mountain pose.
Below is a graphic with some how-tos for when you come into Cobra pose:
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